We need to teach children about death and grief says Heidi Travis

Yet children are not taught about grief and it is rarely discussed. The consequences of this can be profound. For many, community and family networks may have broken down and youngsters have become increasingly reliant on schools to develop the essential life skills they need in difficult times, such as a bereavement.

Failing to teach children how to confront grief has a longterm impact. Those who have experienced a close bereavement have lower than average

GCSE scores, are over-represented in the prison system by the age of 30, and are at increased risk of depressive symptoms and anxiety. The emotional and psychological scars, not to mention the diminished life chances, can be passed down through the generations.

The emotional skills we learn in childhood are the bedrock onwhich we build our lives. Simply put, teaching children about grief and bereavement is not merely a “nice to have” – it is an investment in our society’s public health, creating adults who are better equipped to navigate one of life’s most difficult challenges. Some people may feelchildren should beshielded from the harsh realities of life and death.

That view needs to be challenged. Children possess an innate curiosity and resilience; engaging them in open conversations about death lays the groundwork for healthier emotional processing in the future.

Some parents may find it difficult to talk about the death ofa family member, especially if they are themselves struggling with their grief. This can limit a child’s understanding of the emotions they are seeing and feeling. Yet by the ages of eight to 10, many children can grasp the permanence of death.

Far from being a reason to shield them from its reality, this is an opportunity to discuss the

complexities of grief and bereavement in schools. This is not simply a case of adding additional responsibility to hard-pressed teachers, nor is it outsourcing the job of parents.

For anyone who has suffered a bereavement, at any age, the most important thing is to give them an outlet to express their feelings. If children are given that opportunity, they will feel more comfortable talking about death as they grow up and become adults.

That, in turn, will make them feel more comfortable talking about grief and bereavement with their own children. At present, there is no requirement for schools to have a bereavement policy, nor is grief education included in teacher training, but the case for making bereavement and grief education part of the Relationships, Sex and Health Education (RSHE) curriculum is compelling.

These lessons don’t need to be complex, nor is there a substantial cost involved. With proper guidance, teachers can lead these discussions as effectively as they navigate other sensitive topics already included in RSHE.

It simply requires a modest investment to include it in the teacher training curriculum, so staff feel equipped to deal with the subject.

Sue Ryder’s research found 86% of bereaved people felt alone in their grief; while 81 % of those polled told us that they didn’t know what to say or do when somebody close to them was grieving.

Pair the two together and you can see we have a societal issue on our hands. We must get better at bothtalking and listening when it comes to death and grief.

But that will only happen if we break the cycle by teachingchildren about bereavement. Helping them understand the complexity of their feelings, and to empathise with others who may be suffering their own grief, will equip them with the simple conversational skills they need in such situations.

Ultimately , that will create a more supportive, understanding environment in the future; a generation of children will grow up understanding that an awkward silence, or avoiding the subject entirely, is not an appropriate response when a friend or colleague has suffered a bereavement.

The Department for Education is set to launch a review of the RSHE curriculum, and Sue Ryder is adding its voice to our colleagues working in child bereavement to call for the inclusion of grief education

in the syllabus. It is both a public health strategy and an ethical imperative. We underestimate its importance at our peril.